


Fragile

by negaii



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Marriage, Mild Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-05
Updated: 2016-08-05
Packaged: 2018-07-29 10:23:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7680712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/negaii/pseuds/negaii
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So you’re saying that I have to get married and have children to be able to live a fulfilling life?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fragile

**Author's Note:**

> I guess you can think of this as the Nino version of their angsting, since Jun already had his (from Sugar and Salt). They’re kind of similar. This is just something I whipped up on a whim after watching the latest Shiyagare and seeing all those posts on tumblr. And because I need a break from my fic for the Arashi Exchange (less than a month left!). Have some fluff.

“Do you?”

A sigh.

“Do I what?”

A huff.

“Do you ever think about getting married?”

Jun turns to look owlishly at Nino, who’s staring back at him with a serious face. There are prominent dark circles under his boyfriend’s eyes, and Jun wants to yell at Arashi’s manager and Nino’s manager to let the man sleep. But he knows he can’t do that, they can’t do that, and Nino most certainly will not let Jun do that. Jun breaks the staring contest between them to pull the blankets up closer to their bodies. Nino continues lying on his side, watching Jun with a frustrated expression, not even batting an eyelash when Jun leans over and tucks the blanket in behind him.

“I don’t know what brought this on. Was it from today’s—”

“Answer the question, Jun,” Nino interrupts abruptly.

Jun rolls his eyes and shuffles closer to Nino. The other man is pouting now, and all Jun wants to do is go to sleep. But if he ignores the question, he knows the smaller man will probably sulk for an entire week, and refuse to sleep over at his apartment. Jun can handle the sulking and the pouts, but Jun will _not_ and _cannot_ sleep without Nino’s presence beside him anymore (unless they’re both exhausted to the point they can’t even remember to eat or sleep in a bed).

“I used to,” he reveals calmly. He doesn't know how Nino would react to that. Besides, it's all in the past now. He doesn't really think of marriage nowadays.

“With a woman? With Mao?” Nino asks quietly in the safety of their bedroom. Jun can feel Nino’s eyes on him, and he doesn’t know why it’s making him so nervous.

“Yes, and… I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten that far…? Maybe I did.” That was years ago though. Jun doesn’t think about his past relationships very often; he prefers to concentrate on the present—Nino is his present. His present for about eight years actually. Sometimes Jun wonders how they’ve managed to make it this far, but he’s not going to complain. They've been through too much, and Jun has no plans to break up with him any time soon (or at all). And he knows the other members will give them a lot of flack (and tears possibly) if they break up. Aiba will cry.

“So you don’t think about marriage now? Kids? A wife? A family?” Nino questions him one after another, his gaze still on him.

Jun feels himself getting more annoyed by the second. Why is Nino asking him these useless questions, and at two in the morning? Jun turns to the side to look at Nino directly. The other man stares back with a neutral expression, his face giving nothing away. But Jun isn’t Nino’s boyfriend for nothing. Dating this man for the past eight years gives Jun the ability to know that the look in Nino’s eyes reveal that the man isn’t alright at all. He can see the fear in Nino’s eyes.

“I would lie if I said I didn’t thought about marriage and having a family,” Jun says as he stares right into Nino’s eyes, waiting.

Nino clears his throat before turning to lie on his back, looking up at the ceiling. “So why don’t you?” _Why don’t you go find someone who’s not me?_ is what Jun knows Nino is really asking.

“Are you really saying that?” Jun asks in exasperation. He knows exactly what Nino’s implying, but he wants to hear Nino say the words.

“Jun,” he deadpans.

“Kazu,” Jun repeats back in the same tone, enjoying the way Nino growls in frustration.

“For god’s sakes, can’t you take this conversation seriously?!” Nino asks angrily as he throws the covers off of himself and sits up to glare at him. He crosses his arms with a huff and looks away. Jun snorts and reaches over for Nino’s arm to pull him back down, but the man refuses to budge, but his gaze turns back to him. Jun rolls his eyes and looks up at him with a cold expression. Nino deflates a little, but doesn’t back down.

“I am, but I don’t know exactly what you want me to say. Is it a yes? Do you want me to find someone to marry? A woman?” Jun asks and Nino purses his lips before frowning. “Do you want me to find a nice woman, someone worthy enough for the management’s approval and marry her? Possibly have a child or two with her? Grow old and gain grandchildren? Is that what you want me to say, Kazunari?”

Nino pulls his arm away from Jun’s grip and pulls his knees up to his chest. He looks so fragile, and Jun wonders how someone so bright and full of wit and charm can manage to make himself look so small and defeated just like that.

“It would… it would be better than living in a life of secrecy and hiding, don’t you think?” Nino finally whispers. And there we go. Jun sighs and scoots over to lie against Nino, his chest resting against Nino’s legs. “You could live a more fulfilling life, Jun. You wouldn't have to hide like this, and sneak around.”

“So you’re saying that I have to get married and have children to be able to live a fulfilling life?” Jun scoffs in reply.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying! You wouldn’t have to hide!” Nino shouts as he turns to look down at him. Jun looks up at his face, and notes that the pink on Nino’s cheeks that show up when he’s angry or embarrassed, makes him look so cute. He knows now is not really the time to think of such things, but he just can’t help it. Jun laughs and buries his face into the pillow.

“What are you laughing about?” Nino snaps as he pinches Jun’s arm. He gives a grunt of pain before grabbing Nino’s arm again and pulls him down. Nino lets out a yelp at the unexpected action and tries to pull himself away, but Jun has him in a tight hold as he wraps his arms around the man’s body. “What are you—”

“Are you stupid?” Jun mumbles into Nino’s hair. “Why would I want to break up with you for that?”

Nino lets out a frustrated cry and Jun pulls him closer. “I chose to be with you. You think I haven’t thought about all that before? And when I mean before, I meant two years after we got together. And I would still be hiding a relationship even if I were to be in one with a woman.”

Nino stills in his hold, and Jun can almost hear the gears in his mind whirring as Nino comprehends what Jun is actually trying to say. Jun knows that Nino finally figures out what he means when the smaller man’s arms slowly make their way around his waist.

“I—really?” Nino asks in astonishment, like he can’t believe it’s been that long.

“Yes, really. I accepted the fact that I love you long ago to forgo children and a wife two years into our relationship, Kazu. Why else do you think I’ve stayed with you for the past eight years? And our families know about us, so why are you so worried? They know they’re not getting any grandchildren from us any time, or at all.” His mother had been crushed when he had came out to them in the first year of his relationship with Nino, but now she’s happy to see them whenever Jun drags Nino over for family dinners. His mother adores Nino so much and Jun always has to hide a grin when he sees them getting along so well; it really warms his heart to see the most important people in his life get along very well.

Nino’s hands come up to clutch at Jun’s arms. He stays quiet and Jun has to hide a smirk. For once, he has Nino speechless (outside of sex). It’s an amazing feeling, especially when Nino tends to get the last word in their arguments.

“So get those ridiculous thoughts out of your head. I chose you years ago, and I plan on making this last. I don't care if we have to hide it from almost everyone we know. As long as the most important people in our lives know and accept us, that's all that matters for me,” Jun says with finality in his tone. Nino sighs and rests his head against Jun’s chest.

Finally, after a long while, Nino says in a quiet tone, “I just don’t want you to have any regrets.”

“If there were any regrets, it would be me not accepting your feelings all those years ago,” Jun replies easily and Nino looks up at him. “If you hadn’t confessed, and if I hadn’t given you a chance, I think I would live with that regret of not having a chance to be with you.”

“But you didn’t have any feelings for me back then,” Nino points out.

“That’s not true,” Jun immediately says, “I mean, yeah, my feelings weren’t the same as yours back then, but it would be a lie to say I didn’t find you attractive at all.” Jun had never entertained thoughts of dating Nino when they were younger, but Jun has always found the other man attractive. Jun loves the gummy smile that always appears when the other man is happy or laughing, and the way Nino’s eyes seem to brighten as he teases the other members or their guest when he’s in the mood. He's captivating and he falls for him a little more every time, even if it's been years since he's had to court somebody. “And if you need me to reconfirm, I love you.” And heck, why not say it? Nino’s mental state is a little fragile from today’s filming, and frankly, it’s a little surprising. They’ve never really had talks regarding the subject of marriage (at least, not seriously), but as they’re both in their early thirties, Jun supposes the conversation has to happen sometime.

“I love you too…” Nino mumbles, and Jun grins.

“I don’t just have heart-to-heart talks with just anybody,” Jun teases as he brushes the bangs away from Nino’s forehead (he’s still so smitten at how youthful Nino looks with his new hairstyle; it’s so similar to his own haircut from before) to give him a kiss there.

“You have them with Arashi,” Nino says completely burying his face in Jun’s chest. Jun huffs and pulls Nino closer to him and tangles their legs together.

“That’s different. But Kazu, you have to know… I don’t have any regrets.”

“...Yeah...”

Jun smiles and gives Nino a squeeze. “I’ll be with you for as long as you will have me. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

“And we can look like newlyweds?” Nino mumbles sleepily. Jun chuckles.

“And we can look _and_ act like newlyweds. But only at home, the acting part.” He doesn't want to be like Ohmiya SK or Sakuraiba, god forbid. “We are not becoming the new Ohmiya SK.”

“Sounds like a plan…” Nino sighs, drifting off. “Though I wouldn't mind…”

“Of course you wouldn't.”

“Hmmm…”

Sensing that Nino has fallen asleep, Jun looks up at the ceiling and wonders if he has any free time in his schedule tomorrow. He takes Nino’s free hand gently into his, and lightly caresses them, enjoying the feeling of Nino’s smooth skin under his touch. It's soft, with only a few calluses from Nino’s late night gaming from gripping the controller too hard during his marathons.

Jun wonders if Nino is willing to go shopping tomorrow.


End file.
